i story in which i paint an unflattreing picture of myself.

saturday is now catch-up on chore day so i've been attempting to do laundry all day (by attempting i mean pull myself away from our new computer, (which is fantastic by the way!)). i finally found some motivation and gathered all my clothes up, which included every pair of pants i wear on a regular basis and opened the back door. as i peaked over the pile of clothes i was holding i saw a huge road block: all of the boxes that the parts of our computer had arrived in. laundry foiled by the computer again! so, instead of doing the logical thing and taking all the garbage down to the bins, i instead was terribly discouraged (it doesn't take much) and decided i should dump the clothes on the dinning room floor and while away some more time on the computer.

after a few more hours of uploading music and photos and setting bookmarks and all other kinds of things that i find to be way more fun than i probably should, i decided to tackle the laundry again. remembering the box dilemma, i gathered up my clothes and decided to stuff them all down the laundry chute. all at once. this was a big big mistake. instead of the lovely swooshing sound the clothes make as they descend through the shaft to the basement (which my lazy self equates with "i don't have to carry all those damned clothes down the basement" ) i heard a soft thud. the thud that i have heard once or twice before when i have before attempted to force too many clothes down all together. i was annoyed but figured that after a couple of seconds of fiddling with a broom up the chute the clothes would come tumbling down. i was wrong. f-ing wrong. i couldn't reach the clothes from the bottom of the chute or the top. they were stuck exactly in the middle. i tried throwing a rock down from the top. no dice. then i had the idea of a five pound handweight. the thought did cross my mind that if that didn't work, it could come slamming into someone's arm or head if they did manage to disloge the clothing from the bottom of the chute. but i tried it anyway. and it didn't work.

i then tried longer objects than the broom handle but they either weren't long enough or were not flexible enough to bend to reach up through the narrow chute to the clothes. i tried tying the other hand weight to a cord and slamming it up and down from the top of the chute to knock the clothing down. probably the best idea yet, but still no progress. i found a long piece of metal used to mount a shelf on the wall. it was long enough to reach up and touch the clothes, but they still didn't budge. or still haven't i should say, because there has yet to be any resolution to my dilemma. so here i sit, pantless and unable to accomplish the first household chore i had set before myself to do on what i hoped to be a productive day off, in front of this computer which somehow seems to be at the root of all this evil.

(oh and i DO have some shorts on so i'm not actually sitting here pantless, just nothing i would leave the house in. just wanted to clear that up cause i know some of you have damn dirty minds)