yesterday i had a lot of fun at work. i feel settled there and while there are a few small things that i have issues with, i am very happy. i only wish that there were more than four and a half weeks left of the camp. it's hard to get to know people-the kids and the other counselors-and realize that i probably never see any of them again in a month or so. but i try to live my life in the present and enjoy every moment. i know you have to make some decisions based on your future, but i feel that i miss out on what i am guaranteed-the right now-if i am constantly looking ahead. i know that this is not a unique philosophy on life, but it feels pertinent to my current situation. i have encountered a decent number of people who would ask what's the point to getting to know and care about these kids if i'm not going to have any long term impact on their lives, that i may never see them again, that in a year or maybe even a few months, they may forget about me. but honestly, that doesn't matter much to me. i happy to be where i am now, doing what i am doing now, with the people i am spending this time with. that's enough for me. a lot of programs are concerned with how effective they are-test scores going up, number of drop outs and teen pregnancies going down-and these things are important- but to me what matters the most are the immeasurable things that we do in life-a child feeling accepted, giving someone a new insight on the world, creating understanding, making someone smile. this probably all sounds trite and overly sentimental, but while i will acknowledge that it is, i will not apologize for it. these are two of the traits i actually like about myself and are things i hope never change about me. i am glad that i don't have to have physical evidence to validate everything i do or believe; i suppose some people would consider this weak-mindedness, but i refuse to believe that everything that is real or worthwhile can be proven with facts. and i think it is a positive thing that i don't live in the future, that i am present where i am (although i know that for some people that is the only way to live and i don't think that is a terrible thing or a necessarily wrong way to live.) looking back on my life, i can't say that i regret ever talking to, concerning myself with, or giving to any person. no matter how small the interaction, no matter how little it may have affected my life or their life. that's how i feel about these kids and i hope to make the most of every second with them.