It's the first Monday in two months that I have slept in and have the day to myself. While I'm sure I'll enjoy having time to run errands and do little things I like such as get lunch and go to the library, I also feel somewhat lost without the responsibility and joy of taking care of ten seven year olds. Despite all the issues we had at camp this summer, it was by far the best year I've had there. It was wonderful beyond belief to be able to work with the same children and Ms. Sheena again. It was also a very nice bonus to have Beth and Megan there plus other the counselors who were mostly all great people. I gained a good deal of self-confidence in my abilities to work with children and prepare lessons and activities. There absolutely were moments when I felt discouraged and incapable, but overall, I've come out of this summer with a greater desire to find something to do with my life that is based around teaching and empowering children.

It's very difficult to re-enter the way of living that I primarily just have to think about my own and Jason's well-being and happiness. I mean, obviously, in a way, it's very easy to live a life that's centered around myself; what's hard is knowing that that life will not make me very happy and is actually quite nauseating in comparison to the joy and freedom that is present in a life that requires giving so much of myself. I'm particularly not anticipating this coming semester since school work requires me to be fully caught up in myself in the form of my studies. Hopefully I can find some way (and time!) to give myself to something that is not about me.

Of course, everything is not looking gray and dismal, I have a lot of good things to look forward to in the coming weeks: Maine next week, Washington in less than a month, and a bunch of fun little things scattered here and there. And despite how much it requires of me, I am extremely excited about beginning my final semester!