a guy just came into the office to show me a sack full of lighters he scored for free at the strip district today. they lit up and made noises, most of them were patriotic in some way and he was really excited about them. it was awesome.

down in the kitchen i could hear a family having a loud discussion about jesus and prayer and how people are crazy to think it could be God's will for their children to be sick or even die. not awesome. those people are probably a lot more sane then you, buddy (it was the dad making these big proclamations.)

they just came into the office and bought some of our rmh bracelets. now i feel bad for what i said. the dad is a bit intense but they are a really nice family. i just have always had an issue when people are so bold to think they could possibly know what "God's will" is. this was something that bothered me even when i had more faith than i do now. this world is a crazy mysterious place and if you think you have it figured out, that you somehow know what God's will is and isn't, you're nuts. but i really don't want to say this guy is nuts, just some of his ideas. i don't want to do the same thing it seemed that he was doing. i think what made me most upset is that this guy was attacking people who believe basically the same thing that he does and drawing a line, saying that he was different and had the correct way of seeing the world. that's one thing that really pushed me away fom christianity was the constant process of drawing lines in the dirt and making people pick a side, constantly calling people out as being wrong and forming little camps that are constantly growing smaller and smaller by excluding people. i hate picking sides and i hate exclusive groups. i think that is something that is a trait of americans; constantly looking for differences and excluding people based on them rather than looking for commonalities and having some understanding. maybe it's something that all people do. i just know that it disgusts me in our society, in religion, in others and in myself.

i have a feeling very little of that made sense. sorry.

one hour of work left.